Nate and Emily Text

Oct 2, 2013

I Miss You

  • Emily: Don't worry about it. I'm just always up late, and thought I'd give it a shot. You're just so far away. Occasionally I think to myself "Where is he? Why isn't he here?"
  • Nate: I wish I was there, or you were here, or we were anywhere.

Aug 25, 2013

Bright

  • Emily: The future is too damn bright.
  • Nate: And I forgot my sun glasses.
  • Both: ...
  • Nate: We could be one of those quotes on a wall!

Aug 24, 2013

Don't Go Breaking My Heart

  • Nate and Emily: *sing opposite parts for entire song*
  • Nate: I'm glad we did that.
  • Emily: Me too.

Aug 13, 2013

Denise

  • Nate: I'm quite fond of Denise.
  • Emily: You named your car Denise?
  • Nate: I named her after a bowling ball!

Aug 13, 2013

New Friend

  • Nate: I made a new friend at orientation
  • Emily: Oh? Are you going to keep in touch.
  • Nate: Well,she said she’d give me her phone number so I could call her. I told her I didn’t want to talk to her on the phone. She stopped talking to me after that.
  • Emily: You can’t do that! She thinks you hate her! Nate, c’mon that’s just how girls think!
  • Nate: WHAT? That’s crazy. I just didn’t want to talk on the phone!

Jul 5, 2013

Just a Fantasy

  • Nate: I don't see the appeal of phone sex.
  • Emily: It's just a fantasy. It's not the real thing.
  • Nate: Well. I have nothing to say.

May 7, 2013

Dressing Up

  • Emily: I mean, I have to put on a dress. It's going to be super ass-y
  • Emily: The event. Not my dress. Ohmygosh
  • Nate: No. Clearly you meant your dress.
  • Emily: Clearly.

May 5, 2013

Muppets

  • Emily: Would you still be my friend if I carried a Muppet around all of the time?
  • Nate: We would be even better friends.

Apr 24, 2013

Marriage

  • Emily: What if we both marry incredibly normal people? Or maybe even cool people? Do you think our weirdness would cancel out?
  • Nate: Nope
  • Emily: Dang. I mean say you marry a super hot, super funny actress, and I marry a ridiculously good looking all American business executive? Maybe our kids could be at least only a little weird.
  • Nate: But then I wake up and would be back with my weird kid and nerdy wife.
  • Emily: It's probably for the better
  • Nate: Probably

Apr 24, 2013

Two Dads

  • Nate: Good Lord. Calm down. I just got home and I didn't bring my phone with me.
  • Emily: DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE I AM TRYING TO MANIPULATE RIGHT NOW LIKE A TOTALLY NORMAL PERSON
  • Nate: I don't care and do not caps lock me young lady! Go to your room!
  • Emily: YOU ARE SO UNFAIR! I WILL USE WHATEVER TONE I WANT WITH YOU OLD MAN
  • Nate: That's it you're grounded!
  • Emily: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD
  • Nate: I'm the only one you got!
  • Emily: *sends picture of her dad* What about this Dad?
  • Nate: Good point